I've already said my peace about The Human Centipede: The First Sequence. You know, how it features some of the dumbest protagonists in the history of horror? Ah, memories. There are other points I'd love to make about the film, but I believe anyone who wants to see the film should go into it with virgin eyes. Well, virgin beyond the strong warning that the first fifteen minutes are mind-numbingly stupid. That's just a promise that if you get to minute sixteen, it gets better. There's just so much going on with the film once it kicks into high gear that it's not fair to spoil it for interested horror fans.

This video is for those of you who want to know what The Human Centipede is without actually seeing the film. Daniel Tosh, the host of Comedy Central's Tosh.0, occasionally takes the time to spoil a strange film from start to finish on Comedy Central's website. His video breakdown of The Human Centipede is a thing of beauty. He manages to turn some truly horrifying sequences into bankable comedy. It's not even gross-out comedy. It's just plain funny.

The video is embedded below the jump. It's twenty-four minutes of everything you need to know about the film, how to best experience the film, and an understanding that--yes--you are supposed to laugh at this film. It's a darkly comedic horror film. Of course you're supposed to laugh. The absurdity is the point.

Do I need to mention it's NSFW? It's a comedian ripping on the infamous Human Centipede film. Watch at your own risk.

A few key points to take away from this video. Yes, the crazy doctor does say "Rohypnol. Rape drug." Yes, the eating sequences happens as explained. So does the replacement of the incompatible test subject and the abductions. Even the great escape and police shootout happen as explained. Daniel Tosh did not take liberties because he didn't need to take liberties. The only thing he did change was the time it takes to get to the Doctor's house. I clocked it at fifteen minutes before they enter the house and have the screengrabs to prove it.

Will Daniel Tosh cover the second and third film? The second film, tentatively subtitled The Full Sequence, is supposed to come within the next year or so. Series creator/director/writer Tom Six is working on the third and final film, as well. Will anyone even see the second and third film?

Trick question: I plan on it. There was enough interesting and well-made material in the first film to get me to sign up for a second. If it's just a grosser version of the first, I'll won't watch the third. If it winds up being as nuanced (no, I'm not running a fever) or suspenseful (and I don't even drink, let alone do drugs) as the first, I'll be in for the third. Just look at what happened with the Saw series. I saw all but the first in theaters voluntarily on my own dime. Did they fully live up to the original? No, but there was enough to get me to come back.

But I digress. If you want to see the film, don't watch that video. If you don't want to see the film but want to know what's what, watch the video. And if you know you'll blame me for anything that upsets you in the film even if you just hear about it, don't watch it.