Now that I’ve officially reached the end of my Masters of Horror and Fear Itself recap/review series at The Avocado, I want to dig a little further into the series as a whole. I don’t mean the drama surrounding the censorship of non-American filmmakers on the show or the cancellation that used the Olympics as an excuse to bury the series. No, I want to set this off by celebrating the best episodes of the entire series.

This is not a ranked list. I will present the best, must-watch episodes in the order they were released. Just as a reminder, horror is one of the most subjective genres. What scares me might be utterly boring to you.

Incident On and Off a Mountain Road

I said it in the review series and I’ll say it again here: Masters of Horror, as a show, made the smartest decision possible by leading with Don Coscarelli’s Incident On and Off a Mountain Road. This dual timeline horror/thriller tells the story of a woman in the past and present. In the present, she is fighting to survive against a mysterious serial killer on the side of a mountain. In the past, she is being trained by her boyfriend to be a survivalist able to take on every challenge. This episode is tense and filled with the best action sequences in the entire series.

Cigarette Burns

John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns is such a good episode of Masters of Horror that it entered the horror film canon. Other directors and screenwriters namedrop the film and the film within the film as a nod to its impact. This is a moody psychological horror story about a cursed film that destroys anyone who watches it. A projectionist is hired to track down the only surviving print of the film for a collector who has never been told no before.

Sick Girl

Lucky McKee’s Sick Girl is the best monster episode of the series. An entomologist works up the courage to ask out the beautiful woman she sees in the lobby of her lab every day. Her new girlfriend gets attacked by one of her exotic specimens, slowly transforming her into a human/insect hybrid driven by violence. This episode is campy, silly, and scary in equal measure.

Imprint

Takashi Miike’s Imprint is the episode of Masters of Horror that changed the entire series. Put aside the fact that Showtime refused to air the episode due to subject matter and graphic content; Miike’s film pushed every director on the second season of Masters of Horror and the spinoff series Fear Itself to grotesque new heights of horror. Imprint is beautiful. Imprint is gory. Imprint is shocking and emotional and unforgettable. People who have no idea what Masters of Horror is know about Takashi Miike’s too-disturbing-for-TV horror film Imprint.

The Screwfly Solution

Joe Dante wanted to turn The Screwfly Solution into a horror film for decades; Masters of Horror gave him the venue to do it. James Tiptree, Jr’s story about a mysterious virus turning all the men in the world into religious fanatics who murder every woman and gender non-conforming person they find is pure horror. The decision to film this in the newest digital camcorder technology still makes the episode look hyper-realistic to the point of evoking the Uncanny Valley.

Valerie on the Stairs

I’m a sucker for a good horror story about a writer. The sad thing is that most films about writing are terribly boring. Valerie on the Stairs is wild. A writer moves into an apartment filled with struggling and failed writers to finish his novel. He becomes obsessed with a woman in peril named Valerie who warns him about the monster who keeps her trapped in the walls of the apartment complex.

Right to Die

Rob Schmidt’s paranormal thriller Right to Die is still terrifying after the hot button, pulled from the news inspiration for the story has become a footnote in history. The title is the context: this is about right to die legislation. A man and his wife get into a horrible car accident, leaving his wife so burned that any further medical intervention is likely to leave her incapacitated for life. A massive battle erupts in the media as the wife’s family appears out of nowhere to demand she be kept on life support against the advice of every doctor. Meanwhile, the man is now haunted by the presence of his wife, who is able to physically leave her body and attack him (and anyone who gets in her way) anytime she flatlines.

Eater

Stuart Gordon’s Eater is a disturbing paranormal crime thriller. A rookie cop (Elisabeth Moss, wonderful as always) is on duty when a notorious cannibalistic serial killer is brought into the precinct. One by one, her fellow officers begin to act out of character, leading to their deaths. She has the misfortune to discover the Eater has evaded capture for so long because of something beyond this world.

Community

Mary Harron’s Community would easily have fit in with season one of Masters of Horror. This is a controlled and measured horror story about a couple moving into an idealistic gated community. They should’ve paid more attention to the contract they signed as every day leads them to new and upsetting discoveries about the bylaws of their HOA agreement.

Skin & Bones

Larry Fessenden’s Skin & Bones is the best body horror episode of the entire series. A man comes back from a hunting trip completely emaciated. He refuses to eat anything and his family is terrified he will starve to death. They discover a bit too late that he’s willing to eat if presented with the right opportunity to hunt for himself.

Chance

John Dahl’s Chance is one of the sleekest episodes of the show. It’s also a thriller, not a horror film, and that is an important distinction. A man tries to get out of debt with an antique deal he’s promised is a sure thing. When the deal goes wrong, his life is forever changed by the appearance of his doppelganger straight out of a broken mirror. He’s identical in every way, except for his polish, his confidence, and his ability to know just the right thing to do to get away with murder.

Masters of Horror and Fear Itself are streaming for free on the Roku Channel.

My new book #31Days: A Collection of Horror Essays, Vol. 1 is available on Ko-fi.