Shocking announcement: I don't follow sports. I don't understand them. And I don't care to learn them. Call me ignorant, but I need a bit more stimulus than back and forth, and a bit more to go on to actually invest in someone than "He has the highest number of stolen bases since 2007." Wow, two whole years!

However, I love people watching. I love being pampered. And I love preferential treatment.

So, quite obviously, I really did not deserve to win such lovely seats in the new Mets stadium:

And, if you doubt how loverly the seats were, take a gander at this one:

See? They didn't even remove the bottle cap from my water so I wouldn't be able to launch it as a projectile onto the field. I've never been in a sporting arena that wasn't surrounded by safety equipment that allowed that before.

Unfortunately, genius that I am, I did not count on so many people from my past being Mets fans that lived in Queens. Whenever they went off on sports, I heard adult dialogue from the Peanuts cartoons. Lots and lots and lots of forced "Hey, how are you? Oh really? No way. Well, great to see you" small talk that makes me want to puke.

As for people watching, I think I hit the motherload:

...

Yes, that is a baby in a carrier with a huge, heavy duffle bag resting on top of it. I wish I could make something like this up.

Forgive the poor image quality: my brother, he know want to waste phone memory on funny picture taking lest he be in it.