Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to announce the end of a very bloodless battle between eBook reader formats. While the Kindle is still the best selling device, the Sony Reader will surely overtake them with the greatest collection of celebrity endorsements for a reading product ever.

May I present to you, Amy Sedaris, Justin Timberlake, Peyton Manning, and Howard Stephen Berg, the world speedreading champion:

This clearly marks the end of a long saga of indecision on the part of physical book readers to transition to the digital format. I figured the Google Books deals (first Sony acquired the eBook rights to Google Books, then Google acquired the rights to put every book ever written in Google Books (allegedly)) would have ended this battle long ago, but clearly it is this highlight in eBook shillery that cements the fate of readers.

Now get your booty to the nearest Sony Store and join me in reading books so old no one cares to proofread the digital copies before posting them to Google. Lagged Brick and Jone Austin's Semma command you.