I’m going to take a step back today. Do you know why I write about media? I like discussing media. I like having deep, meaningful discussions about film and television, games and theatre, and everything in between. I specifically like talking about horror, fantasy, and sci-fi. But when I tried to have those discussions with people who taught me media and people I knew who wrote about media, I was brushed off. I was told it was a waste of time. I was told there were things you don’t discuss seriously because they’re not worth the energy or the time.

I can be an incredibly stubborn person. If you tell me no and can’t give me a good reason why, I won’t stop. I will find a way to make it work. I will find a way to prove myself and my view and my perspective even if I have to do it all on my own.

Horror, fantasy, and sci-fi can often be frivolous. I don’t deny that. They may take notice of real problems or issues in the world, but it’s rarely a serious examination of them. These genres are about providing an entertaining experience for a specific audience that knows what they want.

The merit comes from offering a different slant on society. The beauty is not in perfection or even re-creation but allowing us to confront things that scare us or intrigue us with conditions that don’t feel totally real. There’s a level of distances that creates safety, even comfort, in exploring the unknown. I enjoy the process of reading these texts for deeper meaning and then starting a discussion about them. My format is reviews, but the hope, the intention, the dream is that it might start a discussion.

What pushes me to disappointment, even anger, is when a film presents itself as a piece of genre entertainment but really exists as an exercise in cruelty and exploitation. I try so hard to find the silver lining in these moments. I want there to be some good.

On a rare occasion, I come across a film where I cannot in good conscience recommend a text. I might find out that it features one of my hot button, will not discuss issues. For example, I will never write about a film that features actual animal abuse. There are directors, writers, and creators I will not discuss or teach unless I have no other option. By no other option, I mean my job or position is threatened because I won’t teach/write about x, y, or z. I don’t last long in those jobs, but I don’t have the luxury of just leaving with no backup plan. And I will not directly discuss texts I find actively harmful and aggressive towards the intended audience.

On a rarer occasion, I can’t pull myself out of the context of the experience. Obviously, my reaction is important to a review. I’m presenting my thoughts and opinions on someone else’s work as a way to open up the discussion of that work.

What I mean is the too personal coincidence. I’ve talked before about artists creating similar works at the same time without realizing someone else is producing a nearly identical product somewhere else in the world. I have not talked about shared experiences explored in work.

Our lives are obviously our own. We have unique experiences throughout our lives that no one else sees in exactly the same way. Yet there are times where people who’ve never met before can live through similar circumstances. In the case of artists, this often inspires them to produce work in their chosen medium inspired by those events.

This is like how I’ve joked before about Diablo Cody writing about my life in Young Adult. The lead character in that film, by chance, was going through a very similar inciting event for her story to something happening in my life at that time. I know it’s common for ghost writers to do a wonderful work and lose long term contracts through no actions of their own. It has to be less common for those ghost writers to suffer from OCD and depression and really go into a destructive tailspin when one of those contracts ends. The film was even shot 15 minutes from my house. I knew where everything was, from the hotel to the KenTacoHut to the dive bar. I usually call these mirror films, and Young Adult had the clearest reflection by virtue of being shot down the highway.

I enjoyed the experience of watching Young Adult, but I was definitely shaken by the coincidences. I was able to write about that film because, coincidences aside, it was not meant to be particularly deep or thought-provoking. It felt safe to discuss, though the jokes about Diablo Cody’s real (wink wink) inspiration were part of creating a safe context for me to discuss it.

I’m struggling with a review of a horror film right now that I found unbelievable cruel and upsetting. I don’t think the intent was to harm an audience at large, but it did hurt me. It hit on a combination of events, upsetting topics, and character interactions that hit too hard for me. This film is meant to make you shocked and angry. That is literal text in the film.

The rest is coincidence. I know it’s total coincidence. I just need more time to process. I want to grapple with this because there are some fascinating issues at play. I just need to find the angle that lets me feel good about inviting you into this discussion. If I wrote write now, I’d be too shaken to give you a fair evaluation of what I saw.

There are people who will say that this is too much energy to spend on just a horror film. I disagree. The amount of progress I’ve seen in the discourse surrounding horror, sci-fi, and fantasy since I started writing about genre text inspires me to do more. There’s a whole new generation of young critics who are being published and gaining a positive reputation for writing about these genres. I’ve even dipped my toe into a few new spaces and have seen a far more positive reaction than the last time I wrote about these topics for other venues. The discussion is happening, but I cannot lead it if I’m not in the headspace to safely discuss it.

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