Why I Stream
About a month ago, I started livestreaming games on Twitch again. It’s something I’ve wanted to get back into it for years, but I just couldn’t build up the nerve to do it.
When Twitch was a new site, I streamed. I was pretty successful, too. There were requirements of what you needed to reach to become a partner—the streamers who could actually earn money through subscriptions on the site—that I exceeded by a large margin. However, for whatever reason, Twitch has always been incredibly selective about who could become a partner. Nowadays, it’s not uncommon to have to apply more than once even if your stats go above the threshold for partner.
But back then, it was…quite suspicious that certain kinds of creators consistently got rejected from the partner program. They were obviously trying to build a specific brand, and people who didn’t fit that image were left to the wayside. I reached the point that I was being recommended a lot to viewers who were very quick to use what I call “big gamer words” and try to tear me down with insults and slurs. I wasn’t the only one who faced the popular enough to be used to keep people on the platform, but not right enough to be rewarded for it point. It took a toll on my mental wellness and I left.
So why did I go back to streaming? There have been many positive changes over the years. I’ve seen streamers build communities that are so positive and inclusive that I always feel safe when I hang out. I’ve seen streamers become quite successful who advocate for actual social change. I’ve even seen people who remind me of me be chosen for the partner program as they define their own success on the site.
Most important of all is the advances Twitch has made in moderating and enforcing their rules. Remember, last spring they started removing some awful people from the site. These abusers used their platform as professional streamers to hurt many people. Criticizing these successful partners brought you into the crosshair of some furious fans. I feel safer on Twitch knowing that there are systems in place now to protect users from some truly awful people. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress. I’ll take it.
Now I’m streaming five days a week again on my own terms. I take breaks every hour so I can stretch out and manage my chronic pain. I keep things as positive as I can without hiding how I’m doing as a person. I can present myself as a public figure on my channel and be honest with my community. I lead with a smile, educate about what I’m playing, and put on the show I would enjoy watching.
Progress is much slower in 2020 than it was in 2012. There are so many more users and streamers that it’s tougher to break in. Still, the amount of growth I’ve reached in a month makes me feel proud. The amount of people who recognize me from chatting in other streams shows me I’m reaching the audience I want to see. Most heartwarming of all is seeing some regulars who followed me years ago step into my stream again and notice the changes I’ve made. I’m in an overall better place as a creator, and it shows.
I’ve written about this very issue before. I have a voice and I intend to use it however I can. My writing, my video work, and now my livestream give me the opportunity to advocate for people like me. There are things I keep private because I choose to; however, the act of presenting myself as a public figure with chronic pain and mental wellness issues without masking is a radical act. I refuse to live in shame and silence anymore for medical problems. I see no reason to separate that from the gaming world.
My name is Robert. I stream under the name otherrobert. I play Dead by Daylight on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I play card games on Tuesday and variety games on Thursday. I go on in the morning after finishing my writing/video editing work for the day and before I leave for work in the afternoon. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.
