UPDATE: Here's the MJRI voting link this week. Here's my (Totally, Completely, not joking around, NSFW) performance that the judges liked for once. And here's the full podcast. Voting closes Midnight on Wednesday, July 11. I admit that I enjoy terrible songs. I love to tear them apart, analyze them, and figure out how they went so wrong. Usually there is something so odd about them that I'll listen over and over just trying to identify the bizarre element.
The first one off the top of my head is Kreayshawn's "Gucci Gucci." It's a poorly phrased rap song with a whiny beat and a ridiculous chorus. I'm not even going to lie. I spent weeks trying to figure out why this song existed rather than what it was. The bizarrely costumed video didn't help, either.
For my brother, that recent track is Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over." He can't understand a word Florence sings and thinks she sounds like a dying walrus or a dog with distemper on the chorus. I think it's a charming exploration of fusion with a great message, but that's me.
See, the problem with objectively trying to define music as good or bad is preference. It's a subjective medium. I can break a song down according to music theory, but some of the greatest composers didn't even play by those rules all the time. Is Shostakovitch bad because he would intentionally break audience expectations with his deeply political symphonic compositions? Or does the exploration of form and content somehow rise above what would be expected in this musical period?
There is no right or wrong. There is only preference.
So let's have at it. What's the worst song you ever heard? Sound off in the comments and have some fun. This is a judgment free zone. Unless you jump on Kate Bush. Then we're going at it.
And why discuss this now? Tonight is Worster Night on MyndJack Radio Idol. I barely scraped by to advance to the Top 8 after going for broke on a song the judges would have to actually critique for once. Mission accomplished.
And what's MyndJack Radio Idol? It's a fantastic satire of American Idol on the All Digital Radio Network. Contestants are judged not only on their performance but on how ridiculous they make their song. Whether it be by parody or a completely inappropriate vocal, the judges want to be blown away.
Until they don't want that. Then they say they hate your performance, think you can't choose a song to save your life, and think you have no idea what you're doing at all with music. Years and years of performance experience mean nothing if they turn against you because you choose to scream in a song that uses a bridge as a warning klaxon against the destruction of civility. Live and learn.
Tonight, I go rap and might never go back. Tune in at 9PM EST on the All Digital Radio Network (their player is terrible, use the bottom link on Shoutcast or stream it on iTunes under Talk/News Radio) to hear the whole two hour show. Or, tune in at 10PM EST to just hear Worster Night on MyndJack Radio Idol. Dave Della Terza--the man behind Vote for the Worst--and former Canadian Idol finalist Mark Day (perhaps the only real Worster to make the finals on any Idol contest rather than be converted after the show) are guest judging. It's going to be epic.
So tune in and shout out the worst song you've ever heard. I'll update with the voting info and full program later. One contestant, Eric, is so desperate to win that he's begging people for votes (with the full ranking to copy into the form and thousands of followers) and telling them not to listen to the program. That's just rude. If you want to support me (otherrobert, one word, like Madonna) or any of the other contestants, listen to the show live or stream the podcast and then vote. It's more fun that way.